Vancouver is going down in flames! How do I know the secret to a city is on it's craigslist

      Vancouver is a terrible place to live,

 A nearly feudal economic situation has left those of us who remain in serfdom. As you may recall from social studies (Remember when we did stuff like that in Canada?) Serfs were bound to the land of their medieval lords by gigantic debts that were thrust upon them without their consent and virtually guaranteed that A. they would work themselves to death trying to pay it back and B. Their kids would too.

Well, even the serfs (not the Smurfs dummy, stop humming the song) were allowed out to market every Saturday to trade cow dung amongst themselves, and apparently our new Shanghai sovereigns are generous enough to do the same.

But unfortunately, like other economically disenfranchised peoples, we have turned our anger on to each other. Instead of helping one another and strengthening our economic position when we take to the modern market place, that bustling village square we know as Craigslist, we try to screw each other silly.

Well, maybe today you have some dung to trade but don't feel like taking it up the ol' dung shoot yourself? Maybe you NEED some new Pig droppings for the shower but are afraid you will be sold goats instead?

While no means incomplete, here are some good things to impliment while nabvagating the moral Blackhole known as Vancouver Craigslist.

Oh and I give an "Any given Sunday"  Al Pacino pump-up speach at the end.....4 realz! Anyway, here we go:

1. This is how you find out what something is REALLY selling for used: Go to Ebay > put your item in the search box > Hit return > You will see your item listed at various prices and in auctions > look to the left hand side of the screen you will see various lists and search parameter options > scroll down and watch the left side until you see a check box that says SOLD LISTING > check that box and review prices.

Some of those sale prices can be BS for reasons I won't get into but for the most part scrolling through the last five or 10 sales you will see what people are actually willing to pay for things and what YOU should be paying. If you only know prices from Vancouver CL you will likely be somewhat shocked, because....

2. A used item should be sold for about 3/4 or MAYBE 2/3 depending on it's condition. For some reason people in Vancouver think it's appropriate to actually RAISE the price of their item, I have seen so many ads where people say "I just want to get my money back" They are not entitled to their money back, they brought it home and used it and for that they need to absorb some of the cost, there is a lot of entitlement in this town right now. Sometimes they know $30 bucks off retail and think they are doing you a massive favor, they aren't, if it is a common item then %75 is the fair price.

Now this doesn't apply to discontinued items that are in demand or things still in production that are valued and in short supply, the laws of supply and demand are fair play and if someone has a rare vintage or sought after item then they get to jack up the price and it's a matter of how bad you want it. But for the stuff you could easily go buy yourself, don't let them do it.

Now buyers aren't perfect either, buyers need to be more decisive. Understand what you are buying and how to test it before you meet the seller, unless it is an extremely complex item it should take about 30 seconds to test all the functions (When I test a synth I move every key, knob and slider to make sure they work, guess what? That takes me about 45 seconds) you are going to someone's home a lot of the time, it is not appropriate to start jamming out in their living room for 10 minutes only to say "Yaa....maaaabe" and start playing. Tire kicking is also BS, the whole "when can I come by try it out and see if it's working for me" thing is something I don't play.

Sellers, here's what I do, before someone comes over I tell them "If it's in the condition I say it's in then you have to buy it, if you can't make that commitment then I can't take time out of my day to meet with you" Our homes are not music stores, sellers should not allow anyone but committed buyers to come over, of course this depends on sellers giving accurate and truthful account of what they are selling, if an item doesn't match the seller's description then all bets are off"

And then there is haggling at the point of sale NO THANKS! Y'know when they come over and then after wasting your time offer you $100 less? Don't let them, I have another simple rule: I DO NOT NEGOTIATE PRICE AT THE POINT OF SALE. That means if you come over for an item that is listed at $400 and that you have made a commitment (pending inspection) to buy and that item is as I said in the add, then you are either paying $400 or you are going home. If you want to haggle. do it before via email or on the phone, don't waste people's time and realize how incredibly rude it is to do that. I have no problem with offers, Lowballs highballs trades, I'll listen to any offer (I don't know why people freak out at offers "NO LOWBALLERS OR I"LL CRY!" you can lowball me all you want via email or text, but if you are wasting my time by having me meet you and THEN trying it? We are going to have a problem.

In closing I would add that CL is a good barometer for the local economy, and if that is the case we are in bad shape. I lived in LA for years and the attitude there is "Give a deal get a deal" Things are rarely up for more than a day or two because people don't put things on CL to try and swindle someone into paying double, they put stuff on there TO SELL!! TO MOVE! Not to sit there for a year before CL deletes the add themselves, I see items up here that have been on FOR YEARS! What the hell is wrong with you people?!?! NOBODY is going to buy your Squire (It's a Squire STOP listing it as a Fender) for $600 your DX27 for $350 Your Microkorg for $500. The CL here is like a stagnant cell pool everyone is trying to get over on everyone else.

Try this, price your item to SELL! Give someone a good deal while getting some money back on an item you got to use for a good long while. It will be gone before you know it, then I promise it won't be long before you see something you want at a great price. Buy it, use it sell it and give someone else an even BETTER price, because soon enough you will be getting something else at a GREAT price!

This is how an economy MOVES where money is easy to make and can get great value when spent,
Being greedy, deceitful miserly and self-centered is like being money repellant. It's not good for you or your community.

I know this isn't exactly a shining chapter in the history of this city, we have seen the extent to which greed, selfishness, deceit and public indifference/cowardliness has permeated and festered like rotten mold beneath Vancouver's phony facade. "Yeah, do what you want everything's OK, the Government has our best interests at heart" has proved to be whistling past the graveyard as the city has been sold out from under us while corrupt politicians stonewalled anyone who questioned the direction. And if that's the way you like things then go ahead, but anything like CL which is a place where the community interacts with itself and forges an identity, is an opportunity to send a different message to our neighbors and breed a new attitude in a town that is dying for one,

In the immortal words of the MC5 :

"You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the soloution, I came here to testify and now I wanna know who else is ready to testify?!?"

"Kick out tha Jams M^%THERF^%CK$RS!"