Dee Lux DX7's World of Hockey

So, the rumor is circulating that the Toronto Maple Leafs are looking for a penalty-killing de fenseman and are in talks to acquire Eric Gudbranson from the Vancouver Canucks... COOL! No problems here! But Lea fs fans, listen up, gather around the fire and let me bend your ear with a tale of woe and horror, let me spin the terrifying fable of: Dim Jim and the Jolly "Non-puck handling" Giant By Donal "terrible D" Finn Harken ye douche tools of T.O! For the story starts now.... Eric Gudbranson...that big hunka hunka nasty, your girlfriend probably loves him (And may should he be traded to your town) Could he be the defenseman you covet? Still remembering his macho death threat issued against your own Matt Martin? A few more of those might be worth your girlfriend? Right? We all need to make sacrifices if we're going to win a cup after all... Besides I like death threats, so do you, I think we can both agree the NHL could use MORE death threats. Well, ...

"....and maybe you could do something besides write negative shit about the team" It seemed so long ago those words (A generous paraphrase but the intent, and the colorful language, were his) rocked Twitter. At least those lonely corners of it inhabited by fans of the Vancouver Canucks. It was a shocking moment indeed, not that a pro athlete would swear via Twitter, in this day and age we are used to so much worse, but because through years of media awareness and "Fan sensitivity" training the way NHL players deal with fans is about as warm and organic as a Chinese blow up doll (I would imagine) To have a NHL player interact with a fan and express real fire, real emotion, to reveal he REALLY CARED the way fans do, was quite possibly unprecedented in modern pro sports,, And this PR jewel? Man of the people? Marketable personality that while occupying the least glamorous role a hockey team has to offer, shone out like the first sunny morning of spring. Why he wa...

The Medicine hat Machiavelli's strike again! The Alberta-Axis-of-Evil  of Aquallini, Linden-Benning and Dejadains have struck another blow against upstanding hockey fans everywhere, as they have once again had intimate relations with the mind of every BC hockey fans favorite protagonist and victim extraordinaire Jake Virtanen. His inexplicable 2-day sentence to live and play amongst the peasants of Utica, farm team to the Vancouver Canucks, became even more bizarre when after watching the team get what it had coming to them in the form of a 7-2 ass kicking by the New Your Rangers our young hero has been sent BACK to Utica. That's 2 cross continental flights in 3 days, blah!!!` Kill you now! The airports! The Cavity searches! The hoping them don't find your crack that far up your crack, if ya know what I mean...... Well, I don't think Jake has been smoking any crack (Willy has been hogging it all judging by his twitchy mannerisms) now that I think a...