Vancouver Canucks silence critics with 2-0 start....Sort of

               CANUCKS FACE BLUES IN CRUCIAL CONFIDENCE-SHOWDOWN TONIGHT AT RODGER'S ARENA vs. ST. LOUIS BLUES  

Oct 18th, 2016     

0-82!!!!  
        

 00% on the PP!!!

GM admitted to group living center for "Slow" adults!

I'm barely exaggerating in bringing up the level of caustic prophecy the NHL'as media pundits unanimously claimed for the 2016-17 version of the Vancouver Canucks.

One would think that instead of actually hockey players, management had decided to ice a  collection of sex dummies, three legged dogs and Vancouver's perpetual good luck charm, a 50-something Mark Messier, from the apocalyptic predictions carried by nearly all credible media outlets worth mentioning....

....and oh! How they mentioned! Any jack-off with an Ipad and no girlfriend was taking time out of his day to tell the Canucks highly disloyal fanbase (The truth hurts?) their version of 16th-century poet, Dante's famous welcome mat to hell.....

...."Abandon all hope ye who enter!"

Like the lost souls of Dante's classic "Inferno" (You should check it out, hell is like the playoffs, you go through rounds, and in the finals, all bets are OFF!) we moaned and wailed in profound despair at the coming of this season. Accepting our "Passion of the Christ" like beating with none of the dignity attributed to the man himself (Jesus not Mel Gibson) but cursing the cruel fate that has been our lot to bear since the 1971 season.

Like lemmings to the edge of a cliff, we marched into Rodger's place on Saturday night, fully expecting to be destroyed by our most hated rival and on National TV both in Canada AND the USA (Game was on NBC network) so the prophecy would have been fulfilled and people could get on with better things (Sniffing Mc David's jockstrap) than paying an ounce of attention to this bad joke of a hockey team....

...Didn't work out that way. Nope, it probably should have, but it didn't. Yes, the Canucks looked as likely to score as Jim Benning on Prom Night, and pre-game controversy surrounding "Golden-Boy" Bo "Ho-Splat"'s skating on the fourth line seemed like exactly the type of info Canuck fans are pre-programmed to obsess over, so as not to notice how incompetent the team is. But....as the periods drew to a close, there was one fact the national media, the fan base, and your mom just couldn't argue with: We did not lose in regulation.

Miracle on ice 2.0! The Canucks had earned 1 POINT! In the NHL standings! This clearly did not compute and most pundits were still trying to internalize that fact when Brandon Sutter sniped a shot past the Calgary netminder to secure us, not only a point, but a WIN! In the 2016-17 seaon!

Before we could change our adult diapers, Sunday had come and gone and the Carolina Hurricanes had been dispatched for a SECOND WIN!!

I suppose all this goes to prove the point Flava Flav so eloquently tried to drive home way back that coke binge of a decade (Classic coke....what did you think I meant?") DON'T BELIVE THE HYPE!!

But I would suggest Canucks fans and team members do an about face and do exactly that tonight as the Canucks face their first "Non-sucking" opponent of the season, the St. Louis Blues.

Because the truth is: The talking heads are right. This team is a disaster. Hockey is like like the old cliche' of "Hanging in the whore house" OF COURSE we are going to engage in coitus at some point, but that does not mean we're pimps. And winning back to back games in the NHL does not mean you aren't a laughing stock.

I still predict death and destruction, beginning tonight in fact, when I'll be looking for Nail Yakapov to resurrect his career in one fell swoop as he skates for a 5pt. night and a 7-0 win. But those stubborn few who refuse to accept our fate have , at least, some flimsy ground to stand on.

Winning in like the clap. The more you itch, the more you scratch, the more it burns. The feeling of winning can be just as habitual as a morning cigarette, and the more you have it the more you wants it, until one day you NEED it and will accept no less.

2 games in the feeling around town is mixed on one hand it's like: "Um...well....being homeless in China kind of sucks" On the other hand it's also like "If we can get two wins, we can get three"

And it is hear that irrational belief can be forged into "Swagga" and "Swagga" is easily cashed in for "confidence" and after confidence one finds "Results".....all night long.

So, I suggest to you, that tonight might very well be the biggest game of the season, tonight either the spark turns to Flame or fizzles out under a crushing wave of reality.

By this time tomorrow, we may have crashed back to earth, but until then, my dear Canucks players, Office, and fans...let's keep trying to shoplift the stars!