Dee Lux DX7's World of Hockey

Eric Gudbranson, is about to be traded....or is he?....apparently Jim Benning isn't being offered much more than a 4th round pick for the big guy....sounds about right. So, now "Trader Jim" is playing things "real smart like" and acting as if he really would prefer to SIGN Gudbranson to a long-term deal....... ...He WHAT!?!....Surely not as a hockey player? Not......not...TO PLAY DEFENSE! Eric Gudbranson has proven to be an AHL level player during his stint in Vancouver, BUT! Now there's a hitch... .....with Dorsette retired, who's going to stop Avalanche players from cross-checking Brock Boesser face first into the boards? Eric Gudbranson THAT'S WHO! Ok...but what is he goign to do for the rest of his time? He can't really PLAY HOCKEY. Well, there is one thing you could do with him.... MOVE HIM TO LEFT WING!!! OBVIOUSLY! This is the LEAST demanding position in all of hockey! I still have NO IDEA why the obvio...

Have you been biting your nails, quivering like a young school girl, dreading how the John Tavares situation will turn out? Becoming incontinent at the thought of John Tavares's pending UFA status and whether he will, like Steven Stamkos before him, sign with "His" team after all? Relax, there Betty Bloodpressure.... ...Don't think it isn't possible that the Islanders and Tavares are in on this together. The Arena thing has been dragging on for years, it's possible that they colluded to make it seem as if it wasn't taken care of, the Islanders would lose their franchise player and move soon after. Then whoever was on the other end of negotiations, the county, or whoever, finally took them seriously and said "Hmm, no, this team does have a positive economic impact, long-term, it's better for the county to keep them" The problem with the Islanders is that they never put a gun to anyone's head and said "Either we get ...

So, Jaromir Jagr is finally calling it a day huh?  The great elder statesman of hockey finally feels he has nothing more to give to his beloved fans and adoring next generation of players? Oh BS! His gambling debts are finally paid off! Jarg was a selfish "me first" guy who sold his teams and people who made big financial investments in him down the river. He almost broke the Washington Capitals by accepting a gargantuan annual salary from them, then deciding that because it was guaranteed, why should he have to earn it? He already earned it with the Penguins!  What?!! Were they expecting him to earn it twice? It's this shockingly sociopathic thinking that the league has tried to make us forget once it figured out he was going to hold some permanent records and was therefore un-erasable. "Look! Look at the mullet!" The NHL has screamed over the past several years, wanting so badly for long-time NHL followers to forget the twisted thought proc...

Tanking doesn't work, Tanking makes my bum hurt blah blah..... On and on and on...............STOP!!!! Ever since Brian Burke issued his tongue in cheek "Nobody in the NHL would EVER DREAM of tanking" speech (Probably just to crack up his friends he knew were watching) several years back, the Automatron T.V, iPhone "Excuse me while I download my opinion" crew having been weeping wailing and bemoaning the blight on the NHL known as "THE TANK JOB" It's an excellent societal biopsy on how the human psyche has been "Hacked" by media in 2018 because apparently, these people can look at facts in black and white in front of them, then listen to some talking head tell them white is back and go on a "Face-inta-twit" rant on how the city needs to turn the street lamps on at noon because it's too dark for them to see. To that group, I now speak: Tanking doesn't work huh? What in the blue hell are you talking about?!!! ...

Milan Lucic ended Mike Komisarek's career.....PLEASE, STOP WITH THE B.S! It wasn't Lucic......people HAVE to stop perpetuating this myth. Have you ever dislocated your shoulders? I have, both It's a chronic injury that NEVER fully goes away Your shoulders are always at risk of falling out of the sockets, I've had them fall out in my sleep as I changed positions before, it sucks......anyway.. I can see it clear as the screen in front of me, Komaserik and Lucic are fighting, and Komaserik who had the same chronic shoulder problems I do threw a punch and his arm came right out of the socket I can see the pain on his face Lucic ISN'T CONNECTING at that moment, It was the SHOULDER dislocated from the force of Komaserik throwing a punch. When it happens, you are screwed for a while, sometimes it snaps back in on its own but other times it doesn't and if it doesn't your arm is USELESS, and every time it happens, it's more likely to happ...

God, I am sick of people whining about the draft lottery and tanking. No system is perfect, nothing in the world is...sorry to break that news to you so late in life but this is THE BEST WAY TO ENSURE A CYCLING OF THE TOP TEAMS,  that is to say, that a team that sucked last season will be on the road to improving next season, What's your alternative? The worst teams have no realistic way of improving? Can you not see the inevitable outcome of that? Franchise retraction, closing of businesses, loss of jobs, shrinking of the hockey market Now guess what? Fewer of those kids you were so concerned about will ever be employed in professional hockey, there is no way a franchise who is stuck at the bottom with no viable means of improving attracts the entertainment dollar of the market in which it is located.....teams FOLD You see, this is not Charlie and the Chocolate factory, a mystical playground for hockey kids to float from cloud to cloud singi...

Welcome readers! Nice to have you along as I make my first foray into the "True Crime" genre of writing. But I will not be writing about an unsolved murder, rape, kidnapping or any of the like, I will, however, tell you the sad tale of a robbery, a theft that took place in plain view of the authorities, Authorities who didn't know enough about what they were in charge of (or didn't care) to take action against it and right a wrong that would ultimately cost the NHL it's brand new, blue-puck-glowing TV deal with FOX, stunt the growth of the game and nearly turn hard-core fans away in disgust. I write to you of the "Dead-puck" era, and the man single-handedly responsible for it, a man who STOLE the Stanley cup in 1995, by exploiting a flaw in the game. Hockey has always been known as fast, violent and exciting, and for most of its history, it has been, but during the 1960's came a revelation that would forever change the game. ...